How Did I Get Here?

“Am I truly living?” I ask myself this question frequently. A couple of experiences come to mind where I’ve confidently answered, “Yes.” One time while meditating along a river in Big Sur on my 23rd birthday, and another time after running a half marathon without stopping. 

I’m screaming “yes” in this moment, too, as I make my way to Europe on a one-way ticket with absolutely no idea when I’ll return home to Arizona.

I guess you could say I’m using this trip as a soul searching opportunity. And I don’t mean “soul searching” as in “trying to find myself.” I know exactly who I am. I know where I’m at. It’s when I force myself out of my comfort zone, find my edge, and breath through it, growth is inevitable. And with this growth, comes new ideas, passions and purpose.

The simple act of purchasing a ticket created the idea to start this blog. I mean, I’ve always wanted to start a blog, but now, what better time. I’m considering it as part of the “soul searching” process because I’m a writer trying to discover her style.

We’re going to call it a ‘journal,’ though. I have no intention to treat this as typical travel blog. You won’t find “A guide to Europe” within these paragraphs, but rather, an expression of my creativity and emotions flowing through me during my journey.

What you also won’t find, is any intention to smother my travels in fraudulent glamour. I see this all too often. I know I will face plenty of challenges along the way, and I won’t be afraid to share them. But it’s the challenges that offer the best lessons.

During my flight from London to Paris, feeling the sensation of knowing I immersed myself into a world unknown.

During my flight from London to Paris, feeling the sensation of knowing I immersed myself into a world unknown.

So how did I get here…

I graduated college in December, and before that, I had never taken a break from school. While it’s always been impossible to predict my future, during my educational career, another semester would always greet me around the corner. Not anymore.

I sacrificed plenty of spontaneous, decision making opportunities to get my degree. And school made me cry more than any boy has. 

I don’t have a job, either. I quit my day job months ago and now I occasionally freelance to sustain myself.

So, this is a new, unfamiliar phase of life for me. I always knew I’d jet somewhere after school, just wasn’t sure where. Then, a month and a half ago, this sweet girl, Nicole, invited me to stay at her home in Paris for a week. I met her in Iceland over the summer. Without hesitation, I bought a ticket. Europe it is.

I didn’t think it’d be worth investing time, energy and money to stay in one foreign city for a week. A one-way ticket seemed much more appropriate.

Between the time of graduating and sailing away on this trip, I’ve been in a bit of a limbo state. With no job and no school structure, I’ve been feeling, a lot…tapping into emotions needing to be felt and nursing a heartache. 

I know this trip will flip my world upside down, but what better way to truly live.